11th Anniversary of 9/11/01

Today's blog is meant to document what I have shared with Jule about this day and its place in my life, in particular.

This day is one of those that I will never forget.  There are a few in my life.  The day the space shuttle Challenger blew up mid-air.  The day my brother was born.  The day Princess Diana died.  The day Robert F Kennedy, Junior's plane went down and he passed away.  When I had to put to sleep my dog, Lady.  Michael Jackson's death.  The capture of Saddam Hussein and the death of Osama Bin Laden.  These are the moments in MY life that I recall every detail of where I was, who I was with, what I was wearing.

Being the traveler that I am, I frequented the World Trade Center on my many trips to New York City.  On the top floor of one of the towers was a rather upscale restaurant called "Windows on the World."  I had eaten there a few times when traveling as a youngster on the dime of my mentor, Linda Bloodworth-Thomason.  (I have told Jule about this experience, but in short, I was blessed to have the support of Linda from my small town.  In exchange for MANY hours of community service in Poplar Bluff, Linda supported the education and travels of a few girls.  I was one of those girls.)  I digress...

The view from Windows on the World restaurant atop the World Trade Center.

At 8 a.m. on 9/11/2001 I was preparing for a business trip to Tampa, Florida.  I was still at home packing to board my plane later that morning.  I was also watching the Today show on NBC -- mainly for the weather report since I was set to fly in just an hour or two.  Back in these days, you didn't have to leave so early to get to the airport since there were no horribly long security lines and such scrutiny on everything that you carry with you.

I was folding my clothes and placing them in my suitcase while standing in front of the TV.  There was confusion on the television.  The normally subdued Katie Couric and Matt Lauer seemed to be getting lots of information at once.  They stopped their current interviews and said that it seemed that there's an event taking place in the area of the World Trade Center.  Helicopters were sent up and within a few minutes I had my first view of what would become one of the most horrific things I'd ever seen... smoke and flames billowing out of the side of the North Tower of the WTC.  It happened at 9:46 a.m. (8:46 a.m. my time.)  With my hands clasped over my mouth in disbelief, I thought I could see the shape of humans falling from the sky.  I did not know at the time, but these people had been forced to jump from the upper floors due to the heat.  They had to choose... jump or be burned to death.  I would imagine that human survival instincts take over in that situation and you must know that you will definitely die if you stay, and you will probably die if you jump.  So you take the "probably" route.  It's less certain.

Unlike the usual smiles on the faces of Katie Couric and Matt Lauer,
this day there was great concern.

I am standing in the middle of my living room in shock still at 9:03 when the second plane hits.  I burst out in tears and drop to my knees.  This was the first indication that something was VERY wrong.  This was not an accident.  Someone is intentionally doing this.  I could not wrap my head around it.  I still can't today.

The next hours would bring more shocks, including the plane diving into the Pentagon and the flight that went down in Pennsylvania.  The hours were long and horrifying.  Nobody knew how many other incidents would happen, IF, WHEN or WHERE.  And more importantly, WHO did this and WHY?

The reason I was set to fly to Tampa, Florida was to complete a two-year long "conversion" process after my employer had purchased another large company.  We were integrating the two via a very complex process that was set to begin in two days.  Because time is money, "the show must go on" as we say.  While the U.S. was reeling, we were placed on a bus for the  17 hour drive since all air traffic had been grounded.  Nobody was happy about traveling on this day.  Everyone wanted to stay with their families.  But... money is more important than family here, so we had no choice if we wanted to keep our jobs.  During the trip we were cut off from news.  Back in 2001 nobody had a "smartphone" with internet access.  So we traveled in silence.  When we got to the state border of Florida, we were not permitted to cross.  The government had shut down entry to certain states in case the assault was to continue via land.  We parked in a parking lot and waited for many hours before we were allowed to go through.

After we arrived at the Tampa office, the work began.  I happened to be in charge of transitioning all Information Technology interfaces, including all credit card transactions.  I noticed what appeared to be a problem with one of our feeds from American Express.  There were not enough records in the file.  I began to look into the problem and realized that the last records were received around 9 a.m.  And then I realized that the American Express processing center for this particular feed was in the World Trade Center.  I could see before me the moment in time that complete power was lost.

Life would never be the same in the United States.  Not only did we lose our sense of security, but we lost some of what makes us the U.S. on this day.  We are a melting pot of people from the world.  We are accepting of all.  But this day made us view our neighbors with suspicion for many years, continuing (but lessening) today.  It brought our economy to its knees.  We entered into wars on several fronts.  Many Americans still don't understand why we waged war on certain countries when we didn't fully know who the enemy was.  There is still mass confusion about why we're fighting today.  I try not to question too many things to which I'll never know the answer.  Such things will only drive me crazy, and I cannot pretend to know a better solution.  I simply must have faith that difficult decisions were made to do what the president thought would keep the country safe at that time.  I am not sure if he would make the same decision today.  But that's something else I cannot ponder.  I don't know if the world is a safer place or a less safe place today.  In truth, we will not know until something like this happens again.  Until that time, we'll say we're safe.  After that time, we'll say we're not.

In 2004 I visited the hole in the ground where the towers once stood.  It was an odd feeling.  Standing in the same place I had many times before, with my eyes turned toward the sky.  But this time, sky was all I could see.

I suppose that we (Americans) were supposed to learn a lesson through this murder.  I am still trying to figure out what that lesson was intended to be.